Tradition!

"Traditions are important, but it's also important to know that traditions don't happen without a lot of work and preparation. You have to recognize that once you make all this effort, you're not going to be appreciated. There are going to be children misbehaving, and it's never a perfect setting. You just have to set the table. When you invite people to that table is when you share experiences, you share life, you share love, and you start to share stories. That's the fabric of life that brings us so much joy."
-Ann Romney, LDS Living Magazine, November 2013

High expectations can be my enemy, so I always like realistic outlooks from seasoned mothers that reassure me that my experiences are normal.   

Being the tradition maker is a tough job- in fact harder than I initially expected going into parenthood. I think I expected traditions to just happen naturally and easily. What I didn't realize is that creating traditions is another example of parents' love and sacrifice for the good of their family. Being in the driver's seat (when you're used to being a passenger) can be kind of frustrating because the effort you've had to make, or battling grumpies, sometimes spoils the magic... especially when things don't go as planned. 

Luckily, most of the time you get to enjoy the magic too. And those magical moments are priceless. But, I guess we can hope that regardless of how smoothly things go, it's all contributing towards a beautiful finished product- which won't happen on its own.

Bonds that Liberate

"People say of marriage that it is boring, when what they mean is that it terrifies them: too many and too deep are its searing revelations. ... They say of children that they are... brats..., when what they mean is that the importance of parents with respect to the future of their children is now known with greater clarity...than ever before.
"... No tame project, marriage. The raising of children...brings each of us breathtaking vistas of our own inadequacy.
"... [So,] we want desperately to blame [family life,] the institution which places our inadequacy in the brilliant glare of interrogation. ...
"The quantity of sheer...selfishness in the human breast (in my breast) is a never-failing source of wonderment. I do not want to be disturbed, challenged, troubled. Huge regions of myself belong only to me. ... Seeing myself through the unblinking eyes of an intimate, intelligent other, an honest spouse, is humiliating beyond anticipation. Maintaining a familial steadiness whatever the state of my own emotion is a standard by which I stand daily condemned...
"[Yet] my dignity as a human being depends perhaps more on what sort of husband and parent I am, than on my professional work I am called to do. My bonds to them hold me back from many sorts of opportunities. And yet these do not feel like bonds. They are...my liberation. They force me to be a different sort of human being, in a way in which I want and need to be forced."

-Michael Novak, quoted by Bruce C. Hafen, "Covenant Hearts: Marriage and the Joy of Human Love"

Expect the Unexpected

Recently, our family traveled to Utah for two family reunions and a mini-trip to Moab. Considering that our daughter is a terrible traveler (and has been since infancy) we anticipated this trip with mixed emotions- happy to visit family/friends and dread that we wouldn't live to tell the tale. Our trips to Utah are always crammed full of activity. There is too much to do and see in too little time, and we still go home with things undone. Overall, the trip was a success and we had a great time, but it was at times a bit chaotic. A booklet about Moab that I found in our hotel instructed that the first rule of navigating the desert is to "expect the unexpected and prepare for it" (Which, in my opinion is lame, unhelpful advice. For someone who likes to be prepared, the Unexpected is far too vast to realistically prepare for it. Alien Invasions, stampeding zebras, bubonic plague... where do I start? But, I digress). This advice would certainly ring true with our trip. Here is a rough summary:

1. Family Reunion #1: Great fun, complete with a family picture, a trip to BYU, a chance meeting of BYU baseball players, playing with cousins, and many activities for young and old. On the last day, we had a "Hoo-ah Grand Finale" with a mandatory evacuation due to a threatening wild fire with only 15 minutes to pack our belongings and leave (a game to include in future reunions?). This was not an ideal way to part, but sure to make the reunion memorable... appropriate since the theme was 'Remember'. 
2. Mini-trip to Moab: Luckily, the evacuation landed us at my aunt and uncle's house for dinner. When they learned of our trip to Moab and how grossly unprepared we were for it, they equipped us with a child carrier, some camel packs, and Keens. I had foolishly minimized the threat that the heat and sun would be and was grateful for their intervention. As seasoned campers/adventurers, they gave us as much instruction as they could and sent us on our way. The first day we visited Goblin Valley. Despite the heat it was a hit, and my son discovered a love for climbing. Dinner in Moab and a swim in the pool rounded out our day. The next morning I opened our curtains to an overcast, threatening sky. It proceeded to rain intermittently throughout the morning and afternoon. (While packing my husband had joked, "Should we bring our umbrella?" With zero percent of rain in the forecast, we left it home. Little did we know that our prayers for a fun vacation would be competing with most Utahn's prayers for rain). The rain let up long enough for us to fit in a couple of hikes at Arches National Park: the upper viewpoint to Delicate Arch and Sand Dune Arch. The grey clouds were not picturesque, but they did eliminate the risk of heat stroke. After a late lunch, the weather cleared and we finished up our Arches trip by hiking Double Arch. We hit Dead Horse Point on the way out of town- which nearly didn't happen because my daughter had actually fallen asleep in the car (a miracle) and we seriously considered passing it by. Perhaps the hardest decision of my life to date.
3. Family Reunion #2:This reunion brought us more fun with cousins, lots of sugar consumption, Olympic competitions, and lots of music. We were happy to end our gypsy-like travels and find respite for a few days in peaceful accommodations. The rain found us again and our reunion was forced to finish up in a church gym. Somehow, my husband and I have picked up some bad vacation karma. We think that we should move to the desert. It would be a rain forest in no time.

The flight home nearly killed us, as our daughter had reached her breaking point. But, we survived and are slowly recovering and reminiscing about all of our adventures and missing our relatives. 
I must admit, through the stress and pressure of our travels, I could actually see my children growing closer together. Being in the car for hours on end forced them to entertain each other and it was so fun to watch (this mainly consisted of my son doing slapstick comedy for my daughter, which happens to be her favorite genre). One night, my son gazed lovingly into his sister's porta-crib and received such big smiles in return that his love for her overflowed, and he expressed to me a sincere and sweet love for her. It's moments like that that make it all worth it. I want my children to be friends.
That being said, I think it might take awhile for us to recover enough to go on another trip. This family bonding business is exhausting.

Family History

Between finding old photos at my Grandma's house, a General Conference talk, a Relief Society goal, a Stake goal, and two T.V. shows, I have really been feeling a push for doing family history work. I have not yet delved into researching and finding deceased ancestors, but I have dabbled in organzing information from resources that are living (I figure my posterity will thank me for saving them the headache). It's a venture that has waxed and waned with time, as I have found that once I get going on a project, it can be all-consuming.

If you are having trouble getting excited about family history work (and its relevance in your life) here are two shows that will get you excited:

• "Who Do You Think You Are?" - Follows celebrities as they discover their roots.
• "The Generations Project" - Follows ordinary people as they try to make sense of their current trials by researching the lives/struggles of their ancestors.

And if you have enthusiasm, but need direction:

• "That Happened to You?" is an article from the August, 2003 Ensign that gives great questions for interviewing living relatives.

Back to Reality!

For the past month, my family has been living in Washington, D.C. My husband had a month long course he had to attend there, so the rest of us decided to tag along and make the most of it. We had a great time packing in as many of the sites as we could- and there are a lot of sites to be seen!
We returned just in time for the first day of school. It was a great experience, and all of us (except perhaps the baby) have grown a fondness in our hearts for our nation's capital... a fondness that was quickly tempered by two hours of traffic on our return trip.
I expect my blogging will be back on track this week because, 1.) I have lots of fun stories and ideas to post, 2.) my baby's naptime is once again my alone time, and 3.) a smartphone is no longer my primary means of accessing the internet.

Happy New School Year to All!

We Know the Family to be Eternal

A quote from the March 2011 Ensign article, "Teaching the Doctrine of the Family"

"Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. ...
"... There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. ...
"We of all people, brothers and sisters, should not be taken in by the specious arguments that the family unit is somehow tied to a particular phase of development a moral society is going through. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal."

-Spencer W. Kimball

Peace, Be Still

I have been reluctant to write about the devastation in Japan, because natural disasters like that, and the tragedy that ensues, is hard to wrap my mind around- cities destroyed, families ripped apart, suffering, the terror and panic that must accompany it all. I tend to personalize the stories that I read about, and that does me no good. That being said, it seems pretty insensitive to ignore it all together, and write about underwear instead...
Over and over, I keep thinking the the only person who can make sense of any of this, or heal what seems impossible to heal, is our Savior. Events of this magnitude always remind me of that. So, I thought I'd share some quotes from a speech by Merrill J. Bateman, that provided peace to me at another time when I felt shaken:

"Even though we live in troubled times- and prophets have indicated that there will be turmoil in the last days- it is possible for each of us to feel peace, to have the peace of the gospel in our lives. We believe that is the most important message we have for the world."

"At the Last Supper, after finishing the meal, the Savior and his disciples sang the Hallel. The words of the Hallel are from Psalms 113 to 118..."
"So, at the Last Supper with His eleven disciples- Judas having left and Jesus knowing where he was going- Jesus is then singing about His own death.
"In that setting He went on to talk to His disciples about the most precious gift He had to give them. That gift was the gift of the Holy Ghost..."
"He knows where he is going, and there is peace in His heart. He knows He is going to the garden, and He is going to the cross. He is telling them He is leaving them His peace.
"'Peace I leave unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' (John 14:27)" 

The Earth's Core

"[F]rom 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World': 'Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and ... the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.' Ponder this statement. This single truth- that the cosmic purpose of this earth and the universe has as its central feature marriage and the family, with husband and wife at the core- should inspire our souls and our imaginations. Marriage and family are not human inventions or social constructs evolving from human necessity. They are part of a heavenly order that leads to eternal life and eternal happiness."

- Elder Eric B. Shumway, Ensign, Oct. 2008

"Choose Ye this Day to Serve the Lord"

My mom recently made me aware of a talk given by Julie B. Beck at BYU's Women's Conference back in April. It is very powerful and inspiring. I could not find a text copy of the talk, so I have put a link to the video on my sidebar under "Inspiring Articles". Here are the quotes and teachings I found inspiring:

"Taking care of our posterity takes precedence over all other things."

"The vision of our family is the vision of our purpose before the Lord"

"All priesthood power has order, boundaries, and limits to its use. But in our personal lives we are only limited by our faithfulness and desires to acheive that ability to receive that spirit to function in our lives."

"The ability to seek, receive, and act on personal revelation is the most important skill we can acquire in this life. When we have that spirit we can walk with God. We can know and discern and make proper choices... Education is wonderful, but being able to feel the Lord's power and spirit upon us is the ultimate education we can acheive. With that we have power and influence. Without it we will not be able to navigate in this life. The adversary will pick us off one by one."

How do we choose to walk with the Lord and how do we do this?
Know our responsibilities and how to fulfill them:

• Increased faith and personal righteousness
• Stronger homes and families ("Women are like a lioness at the gate, the home. Whatever happens in that home and family happens because she cares about it and it matters to her.")
• Women support each other

Prioritze ("When our priorities are out of order we lose power.") Sister Beck's system for priortizing:

1. Essential- ("If I don't take care of these things, the blessings of eternal life will not be mine nor the blessings of my family.")

• Revelation- Knowing the mind/will of God. (Increased through reading scriptures, personal prayer, time to ponder, sincere fasting).
• Making & Keeping Covenants. (sacrament/weekly repentance, temple attendance, sharing the Gospel, service).

2. Necessary- (What is necessary to create an environment where the Spirit of the Lord is present? Making a home.)

• Making a house of order (cleaning/homemaking/family meals)
• Smiling/being happy
• FHE/family time to teach children to walk uprightly
• D/C 25:5- Support husband, vs. 10- value things important for family. Not wordly things.
• Self reliance (temporal self reliance leads to greater spiritual self reliance)
• Loving one another

3. Nice to Do- (Crafts/hobbies/recreational reading/movies/lunches with friends/travel)

• "When our priorites are on that list, and our time is devoted to those things, then our priorties are out of order and we lose power."

A mother works many shifts (morning, afternoon, night). Ask self, "Where do I need to be at the top of my game?". Safegauard the "afternoon shift" when everyone comes home tired, hungry, needy, and less loveable (including ourselves). They are also more teachable and more grateful. Don't expend energy on other two shifts.

Using a paperback Book of Mormon, write three questions on first blank page:

1. Who am I?
2. Whare are my responsibilities in the House of Israel?
3. How do I fulfill my resonsibilities?

As you read, write the answers in the blank pages at the back of the book.

Home Again, Home Again

We just returned from a family reunion in which: we had way too much fun from morning till night, my son drank an appalling amount of soda, and we stayed up way too late. We were also able to reconnect with wonderful grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (and even an old college roommate!) that we don't see nearly often enough.

We are now in recovery mode. Blogging will resume its regular irregularity.

Fathers & Sons

"We now know that there are two critical periods during childhood when boys are particularly vulnerable. The most obvious occurs at the onset of puberty, when members of both sexes experience an emotional and hormonal upheaval. Boys and girls at that time desperately need their father's supervision, guidance, and love. But according to Dr. Carol Gilligan, professor at Harvard University, there is another critical period earlier in life- one not shared by girls. Very young boys bask in their mothers' femininity and womanliness during infancy and toddlerhood. Fathers are important then, but mothers are primary. At about three to five years of age, however, a lad gradually pulls away from his mom and sisters in an effort to formulate a masculine identity. It is typical for boys during those years, and even earlier, to crave the attention and involvement of their dads and to try to emulate his behavior and mannerisms."

- Dr. James Dobson, "The Wonderful World of Boys"

Things I Learned in New York City

My family just returned from a fun (and consequently tiring) trip to New York City. My husband's parents were our hosts, and we had a fabulous time. The Statue of Liberty, walking the Brooklyn Bridge, and exploring Central Park are a few of the things we were able to do.
I had only been to New York once prior in high school, and it was interesting to rediscover the city during a different season of my life. For example, I learned:

1. It is impossible to not look like a tourist, no matter how hard you try.
   
2. New York City is a fun place for your budding reader to practice his new skills. For example, my son was able to sound out and read, "Sex and the City" all by himself! (Luckily, he has not asked questions).
   
3. It is not unheard of to hear the ice cream man's truck at 9:30 at night- though what he is vending at that hour is unknown.
4. Playing "I Spy" is a fun way to pass the time while waiting for the subway to come. You'd be amazed at the variety of objects hiding in the tracks!
5. When bathrooms are hard to find, your standards of cleanliness take a huge dive.
   

"God's Hand in the Founding of America"

I came across a copy of this article, "God's Hand in the Founding of America" amongst my old college papers. It is an address delivered to BYU by Elder L. Tom Perry in February of 1976, celebrating America's bicentennial, that was later printed in the July 1976 New Era. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"Why is it so important to know and understand America's past? We know that history provides important lessons and warnings for today- lessons about God and his interest in the affairs of men; and warnings in the form of destructions that come to early American civilizations when they lost their reverence for family, morality, or God."

"We know a land of liberty and religious freedom was a necessary ingredient in the plan of God. Thus, Columbus and others, particularly those seeking religious freedom, were led to the shores of America."

"The success of the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War came about through men who were raised up by God for this special purpose. You must read the Declaration of Independence to feel its inspiration. You merely need to study history to recognize that a group of fledgling colonies defeating the world's most powerful nation stemmed from a force greater than man."

"Today we are fortunate to live in a choice and promised land. It will remain free and blessed as long as its people remember the God who gave them life and this free land. We must remember that the family is the basic unit of a strong society. We are all a part of God's family; and as our Father, he expects us to build strong family units. It is in the family that the basic morality and righteousness should be taught that will keep America free. Each member of every family plays an important role in America. For several thousand years throughout this land the great fathers and mothers, noble sons, the patriot sons, the choice daughters have forged America into what we have today.
It is America's conscience that has preserved her. America is beautiful only when she is good, when children are laughing in her streets, and love abounds in her families. Without this conscience, civilization crumbles, as it has before on this continent. We are all part of America's future. Our job is to remember the lessons of the past, to patch up the mistakes and the sins of everything that has gone before. The place to start is within our own families..."

"The adversary knows all too well that a weak America will literally stop this building process and thwart the work of God."

"This is the time for you to be bold enough to stand up for what you believe, to let the world know that God still blesses this great land of America- if we will live righteously, according to that which he has commanded."

For All You Moms Who Spend Sacrament Meeting in the Halls

"The reverence we speak of does not equate with absolute silence. We must be tolerant of little babies, even an occasional outburst from a toddler being ushered out to keep him from disturbing the peace. Unless the father is on the stand, he should do the ushering."

-Boyd K. Packer, “Reverence Invites Revelation,” Ensign, Nov 1991

(Obviously, this is something that can be approached as a team effort, but at least we've got some official back up.)

School Days, School Days....

Here is a link to an article from the Associated Press concerning changes that Pres. Obama would like to make to the school calendar.

Basically, he would like to add time to classes, keep schools open later, and leave schools open on the weekends as a safe place for kids. Education secretary, Arne Duncan told the AP, "Young people in other countries are going to school 25, 30 percent longer than our students here. I want to just level the playing field."

Interestingly, the AP points out, "Kids in the U.S. spend more hours in school (1,146 instructional hours per year) than do kids in the Asian countries that persistently outscore the U.S. on math and science tests - Singapore (903), Taiwan (1,050), Japan (1,005) and Hong Kong (1,013). That is despite the fact that Taiwan, Japan and Hong Kong have longer school years (190 to 201 days) than does the U.S. (180 days)." That leads me to understand that other country's school days are shorter. Not only would our children be going to school more days in the year, but we'd also be increasing their hours spent in school? No thanks.

Charter schools are used as positive evidence behind increasing time spent in school, as well as a Massachusetts' expanded learning time initiative program.

Most disturbing to me is the vision that Education Secretary Duncan has of our schools being "the heart of the community". Ummmm.... Isn't that what the family is?

Here are my thoughts/questions/ponderings: How will these changes affect the family? Will these changes really make our children more competitive? How are we going to fund this (it seems to me that most schools are already operating on skim funds)? Why not use that money to give teachers a raise (I feel teachers are the biggest factor in the quality of our children's education rather than how long our children are in school)? Is it the school's responsibility (taxpayers) to babysit/provide for families that have two working parents? Kids hanging out at school after hours or on weekends seems like a breeding ground (perhaps literally) for trouble... unless they are being supervised by/engaged in activities by teachers, in which case, how do we fund that?

What do you think?

Why Is My Job So Important?

"But for all of the children of God, this life is primarily a probationary existence designed to prepare them for the eternal roles of husband and father, wife and mother.
"If we are to be true to our eternal covenants, we ourselves must believe that the highest of roles, patterned after the highest of heavenly roles, are those of father and mother. Latter-day prophets have taught that there are important, unchangeable differences between men and women. Parents, by aspiring too much outside the home or through too much self-focused achievement, risk teaching their children that the roles of father and mother are not very desirable- or less so than the attainment of material goods, the honors of men, or even educational diplomas."

- "A Parent's Guide", The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1985

(By the way, "A Parent's Guide" is a really neat resource. It gives advice on how to teach children throughout the different stages of their life- including topics like sexuality and puberty- with a Gospel perspective. It's only $4 at the Distribution Center)

Our Most Important Work

"Parents need to 'play offense'- to capitalize on the impressionable years of childhood by instilling in their sons the antecedents of character. Their assignment during two brief decades will be to transform their boys from immature and flighty youngsters into honest, caring men who will be respectful of women, loyal and faithful in marriage, keepers of commitments, strong and decisive leaders, good workers, and secure in their masculinity. And of course, the ultimate goal for people of faith is to give each child an understanding of Scripture and a lifelong passion for Jesus Christ. This is, I believe, the most important responsibility for those of us who have been entrusted with the care and nurturance of children."

-Dr. James Dobson, "The Wonderful World of BOYS", Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2003

This is a video that my son could watch all day long. He has such a big imagination, I really think this is how he views the world.

"Swashbuckler" Mormon Ad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jds1QZrJq1Y



It's a cute message, isn't it?