Here is an essay my son wrote in school that I found amongst a pile of work he brought home on the last day.:
"Have you ever felt like giving something special to someone you love? Then you feel just like Rosa from the book A chair for my mother, by: Vera B. Williams. It is about a girl and her mother and her grandmother. They save for a chair, for her loving, caring, working mother.
"The book A chair for my mother reminds me of how hard my mother worked just to buy a puppy. She was constantly on the computer looking for the perfect puppy. Eventually 3 or 4 weeks ago our dog Pepper (the miniature schnauzer) was adopted.
"I think this book teaches a good lesson on how no matter what familys will always back-up eachother when something goes wrong."
I thought I had shielded my children from the obsession that overtook me while hunting for a dog, but apparently I failed. I wish I could revel in my sweet son's compliment, but I don't feel worthy. The juxtaposition in this essay is blinding! The behavior of one of these moms seems a bit less noble and a little more neurotic than the other. It just goes to show that no matter what, family will always back-up each other when something goes wrong.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Happy 4th of July!
My native country, thee,
Land of the noble free,
Thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
Thy woods and templed hills.
My heart with rapture thrills
Like that above!
Our father's God, to thee,
Author of liberty,
To thee we sing;
Long may our land be bright
With freedom's holy light.
Protect us by thy might,
Great God, our King!
-Samuel F. Smith, "My Country, 'Tis of Thee" vs. 2,4
Land of the noble free,
Thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
Thy woods and templed hills.
My heart with rapture thrills
Like that above!
Our father's God, to thee,
Author of liberty,
To thee we sing;
Long may our land be bright
With freedom's holy light.
Protect us by thy might,
Great God, our King!
-Samuel F. Smith, "My Country, 'Tis of Thee" vs. 2,4
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Swinging on a Star
This is a song that I often heard my Grandma sing when I was little. It's got a great message, a catchy tune, and has been sung by Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and others:
Would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long, funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears.
His back is brawny but his brain is weak.
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak.
And by the way, if you hate to go to school,
You may grow up to be a mule.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a pig?
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face,
His shoes are a terrible disgrace.
He has no manners when he eats his food,
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude.
But if you don't care a feather or a fig,
You may grow up to be a pig.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off that you are?
Or would you rather be a fish?
A fish won't do anything but swim in a brook,
He can't write his name or read a book.
To fool the people is his only thought,
And though he's slippery he still gets caught.
But then if that sort of life is what you wish,
You may grow up to be a fish.
And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo.
Every day you meet quite a few.
So you see it's all up to you,
You can better than you are,
You could be swingin' on a star.
-Johnny Burke
Would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a mule?
A mule is an animal with long, funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears.
His back is brawny but his brain is weak.
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak.
And by the way, if you hate to go to school,
You may grow up to be a mule.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off than you are?
Or would you rather be a pig?
A pig is an animal with dirt on his face,
His shoes are a terrible disgrace.
He has no manners when he eats his food,
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude.
But if you don't care a feather or a fig,
You may grow up to be a pig.
Or would you like to swing on a star,
Carry moonbeams home in a jar,
And be better off that you are?
Or would you rather be a fish?
A fish won't do anything but swim in a brook,
He can't write his name or read a book.
To fool the people is his only thought,
And though he's slippery he still gets caught.
But then if that sort of life is what you wish,
You may grow up to be a fish.
And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo.
Every day you meet quite a few.
So you see it's all up to you,
You can better than you are,
You could be swingin' on a star.
-Johnny Burke
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Animal Sacrifice
My daughter's nap time has always been a bit more exuberant than a nap time should be- usually consisting of singing, jumping, and/or playing and not much napping. The other day, I found evidence that nap time had decayed into something worse than I had supposed:
Apparently, things got a bit "Temple of Doom". I guess that explains the face paint and torches...
Apparently, things got a bit "Temple of Doom". I guess that explains the face paint and torches...
Monday, June 17, 2013
Happy Father's Day! (Belated)
The importance of fatherhood. A sentiment I am grateful that my children and I are able to share:
"My father was a pattern of our Heavenly Father. His love and acceptance for others was unbounded. It was a simple and natural transfer of the love and trust I had for my earthly father to trust and love my Heavenly Father."
-Neill F. Marriott, May 2013 "Ensign"
"Dads, is it too bold to hope that our children might have some small portion of the feeling for us that the Divine Son felt for His Father? ...[W]e do know that a young person's developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child's earthly parents."
-Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Hands of the Fathers"
"My father was a pattern of our Heavenly Father. His love and acceptance for others was unbounded. It was a simple and natural transfer of the love and trust I had for my earthly father to trust and love my Heavenly Father."
-Neill F. Marriott, May 2013 "Ensign"
"Dads, is it too bold to hope that our children might have some small portion of the feeling for us that the Divine Son felt for His Father? ...[W]e do know that a young person's developing concept of God centers on characteristics observed in that child's earthly parents."
-Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Hands of the Fathers"
Monday, May 20, 2013
Karma Strikes Again...
Just in case you thought I was exaggerating about our vacation karma, I have included two pictures from our recent overnight trip to celebrate our Anniversary:
Obviously, our plans to bicycle on the beach at sunset took a rain check...
We couldn't help be reminisce about the weather we were experiencing on an Anniversary trip exactly one year earlier:
"We'll walk in fields of foam..."
We couldn't help be reminisce about the weather we were experiencing on an Anniversary trip exactly one year earlier:
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
The Right Dog Breed For You!
As mentioned in my previous post, Step #1 of buying a dog is researching the breed that's right for you. If you do your research, you will find many sites that help you find the right dog for your family, and they all loosely mention the same list of considerations. Here are some additional tips that I developed from my personal experience:
1. First, and most importantly, what dog do you want to look like? Everybody knows that- just like married couples- dog owners begin to resemble their dogs. Additionally, in the short time we have had our dog, I have found that people will often refer to you as the animal's mommy or daddy (obviously, these people were educated by preschoolers).
2. Do you have children? If this is true, it is best to analyze their personalities and match them as closely as possible to a dog breed. Then decide what you can handle. Can you handle another Border Collie, who are very intelligent but become destructive when not challenged sufficiently each day? What about a West Highland Terrier, who have little interest in cuddling? If you have kids hanging on you all day long, are you sure you want to add a Whippet to the home who are known to be like Velcro to their owners? You might not be able to pick your children, but you can pick your dog.
3. What size dog do you want? The size of a dog is directly related to the size of their output. How much dog job are you comfortable picking up and bagging when you're out for your walks?
4. Do you have realistic expectations for your dog's role? Dogs are only good nannies in Disney cartoons... dang.
5. Does the dog shed? Or, rather, do you shed? Personally, I decided I can hardly keep up with the amount of hair I alone shed. I didn't need another animal that sheds in our home.
Well, after research ad nauseum (as my hubby coined it) it turns out the answer for us was a miniature schnauzer. Naturally, I matched her coat to my hair color: black with silver.
So far, she's been great and is a little sweetheart. Except at 4 in the morning when she shrieks like a monkey. But, that's a story for another day.
1. First, and most importantly, what dog do you want to look like? Everybody knows that- just like married couples- dog owners begin to resemble their dogs. Additionally, in the short time we have had our dog, I have found that people will often refer to you as the animal's mommy or daddy (obviously, these people were educated by preschoolers).
2. Do you have children? If this is true, it is best to analyze their personalities and match them as closely as possible to a dog breed. Then decide what you can handle. Can you handle another Border Collie, who are very intelligent but become destructive when not challenged sufficiently each day? What about a West Highland Terrier, who have little interest in cuddling? If you have kids hanging on you all day long, are you sure you want to add a Whippet to the home who are known to be like Velcro to their owners? You might not be able to pick your children, but you can pick your dog.
3. What size dog do you want? The size of a dog is directly related to the size of their output. How much dog job are you comfortable picking up and bagging when you're out for your walks?
4. Do you have realistic expectations for your dog's role? Dogs are only good nannies in Disney cartoons... dang.
5. Does the dog shed? Or, rather, do you shed? Personally, I decided I can hardly keep up with the amount of hair I alone shed. I didn't need another animal that sheds in our home.
Well, after research ad nauseum (as my hubby coined it) it turns out the answer for us was a miniature schnauzer. Naturally, I matched her coat to my hair color: black with silver.
So far, she's been great and is a little sweetheart. Except at 4 in the morning when she shrieks like a monkey. But, that's a story for another day.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day!
I heard this essay read in church some years ago. It is a very touching way to describe a mother's love for each of her children.
I've Always Loved You Best
by Erma Bombeck
It is normal for children to want assurance that they are loved. Having all the warmth of the Berlin Wall, I have always admired women who can reach out to pat their children and not have them flinch.
Feeling more comfortable on paper, I wrote the following for each of my children.
To the First-born: I’ve always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, the promise of our infinity.
You sustained us through the hamburger years. The first apartment furnished in Early Poverty … our first mode of transportation (1955 feet) … the 7-inch television set we paid on for 36 months.
You wore new, had unused grandparents and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the “original model” for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb and three-hour naps.
You were the beginning.
To the Middle Child: I’ve always loved you the best because you drew a dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger.
You cried less, had more patience, wore faded, and never in your life did anything “first,” but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with and realized a dog could kiss you and you wouldn’t get sick. You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married, and the world wouldn’t come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.
You were the continuance.
To the Baby: I’ve always loved you the best because endings generally are sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted the mild-stained bibs. The lower bunk. The cracked baseball bat. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham cracker pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.
You are the one we held onto so tightly. For you see, you are the link with the past that gives a reason for tomorrow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can’t give us.
When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your children tower over you, you will still be “the Baby.”
You were the culmination.
I've Always Loved You Best
by Erma Bombeck
It is normal for children to want assurance that they are loved. Having all the warmth of the Berlin Wall, I have always admired women who can reach out to pat their children and not have them flinch.
Feeling more comfortable on paper, I wrote the following for each of my children.
To the First-born: I’ve always loved you best because you were our first miracle. You were the genesis of a marriage, the fulfillment of young love, the promise of our infinity.
You sustained us through the hamburger years. The first apartment furnished in Early Poverty … our first mode of transportation (1955 feet) … the 7-inch television set we paid on for 36 months.
You wore new, had unused grandparents and more clothes than a Barbie doll. You were the “original model” for unsure parents trying to work the bugs out. You got the strained lamb and three-hour naps.
You were the beginning.
To the Middle Child: I’ve always loved you the best because you drew a dumb spot in the family and it made you stronger.
You cried less, had more patience, wore faded, and never in your life did anything “first,” but it only made you more special. You are the one we relaxed with and realized a dog could kiss you and you wouldn’t get sick. You could cross a street by yourself long before you were old enough to get married, and the world wouldn’t come to an end if you went to bed with dirty feet.
You were the continuance.
To the Baby: I’ve always loved you the best because endings generally are sad and you are such a joy. You readily accepted the mild-stained bibs. The lower bunk. The cracked baseball bat. The baby book, barren but for a recipe for graham cracker pie crust that someone jammed between the pages.
You are the one we held onto so tightly. For you see, you are the link with the past that gives a reason for tomorrow. You darken our hair, quicken our steps, square our shoulders, restore our vision, and give us humor that security and maturity can’t give us.
When your hairline takes on the shape of Lake Erie and your children tower over you, you will still be “the Baby.”
You were the culmination.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
How To Buy a Dog in 12 Easy Steps!
This weekend, our family added a puppy to our home! This is a project that I've been working on for quite a while, and finally the stars aligned. Plus, my daughter finished potty training a few weeks ago and I decided that there was no better way to enjoy my new freedom than to teach something new where to go potty.
My family had two dogs in my youth. The first was acquired for free through one of my dad's patients, who's dog had a litter of puppies they wanted to get rid of. Our second dog was the offspring of a friend's dog, which they did pay for. My mom's childhood dog was also a freebie.
Our dog acquisition story was completely different, as we did not know one person with puppies to dispense to friends. I found that seeking out your own dog is much more complicated than getting a freebie puppy. Maybe I made it more complicated than it needed to be, as I was determined to be educated and responsible about the whole thing. I learned a lot, so I thought I'd pass on my experience in 12 easy steps to prepare/help another novice for the process.:
Step 2. Become familiar with your state lemon laws on buying a dog... like if the seller is legally required to provide you with a state health certificate. Other good protections are a contract allowing you a few days to have the animal checked by your own vet and a health guarantee (1 year, 5 year, etc.) on the animal.
Step 4. You will soon discover that breeders who adhere strictly to the AKC breed standards, rigorously test the health of their animals, and show their dogs creating "champion" lines, have waiting lists months out for expected litters and charge more than a mortgage payment for their puppies. Budget and common sense will prevent you from forking out the money. Instead, you will obsessively contact every breeder of your Step #1 breed you can find within a 6 hour radius, in hopes of finding a puppy that comes close to your budget. You will not. You will wonder who all the people are that are paying for dogs at these prices. Don't they know our economy is in the tank?
Step 5. You will then move your search to the local dog shelter. There you will discover that the majority of the dogs available are: Pitbulls, Rottweilers, Pitbull/Rotweiler mixes, Bulldogs, or Bulldog/Pitbull mixes. None of the dogs here are on your Step #1 list.
Step 6. One day, in a moment of weakness, you will visit the website of a local pet store. And then again... and then again.... Soon you will become comfortable with the idea of irresponsibly buying a dog from the pet store. Upon inquiry, you will learn that they also charge the equivalent of a mortgage payment for their dogs. Their dogs are supposed to be inferior. Apparently, they don't know that. That's okay, because puppy mill horror stories have been haunting your conscience anyway.
Step 7. One day, in a moment of desperation, you will search for puppies on a local ad website. You will find that the majority of dogs available are: Yorkies, Bulldogs, Chihuahuas, and Pitbulls. None of these dogs fit the list you created in Step #1.
Step 8. Your local news channel will play a segment on people who are burned after buying dogs from ad website sellers. This will scare you back to responsible puppy research.
Step 9. The process of finding an affordable Step #1 dog from a responsible breeder has become like an addiction for you. It is the ultimate puzzle to be solved. Your husband will become overwhelmed by the blackhole you have fallen into and declare he is willing to share a home with any breed of dog, in hopes that this will facilitate a decision and he will soon have his wife back.
Step 10. Your parents will not understand the trouble you are having (see second introductory paragraph), and wonder why friends with puppies aren't knocking down your door to get rid of them. You will curse Bob Barker and the spay/neuter campaign, resent that your friends aren't overburdened with puppies, and wish that your streets were filled with stray dogs to take in. You recognize the irony of being so selective about buying a dog, when you wouldn't care what breed a stray dog is... But you can't help yourself.
Step 11. After weeks of research with nothing to show for it, you will decide that maybe you have been too close-minded in your breed criteria and consider new breeds. Repeat steps 1-10. This will always lead you back to your original list.
Step 12. Finally, when you can't take it anymore and you think you're brain will literally fry, through divine intervention you will find your puppy (responsibly or irresponsibly- it's your choice)! You welcome your sanity back, your husband will welcome his wife back, and your children will be elated with their new furry friend.
Now, you just hope your puppy will live up to all your expectations after spending the best years of your life on researching and hunting for the "perfect" dog.
So far, she is.
My family had two dogs in my youth. The first was acquired for free through one of my dad's patients, who's dog had a litter of puppies they wanted to get rid of. Our second dog was the offspring of a friend's dog, which they did pay for. My mom's childhood dog was also a freebie.
Our dog acquisition story was completely different, as we did not know one person with puppies to dispense to friends. I found that seeking out your own dog is much more complicated than getting a freebie puppy. Maybe I made it more complicated than it needed to be, as I was determined to be educated and responsible about the whole thing. I learned a lot, so I thought I'd pass on my experience in 12 easy steps to prepare/help another novice for the process.:
Step 2. Become familiar with your state lemon laws on buying a dog... like if the seller is legally required to provide you with a state health certificate. Other good protections are a contract allowing you a few days to have the animal checked by your own vet and a health guarantee (1 year, 5 year, etc.) on the animal.
- A responsible breeder who adheres strictly to the AKC breed standards, tests their animals' health rigorously, and ideally shows their dogs creating "champion" lines... which seems kind of obsolete since it will be a family pet and you'll be neutering it but, hey, you want a healthy dog
- The animal shelter.
Step 4. You will soon discover that breeders who adhere strictly to the AKC breed standards, rigorously test the health of their animals, and show their dogs creating "champion" lines, have waiting lists months out for expected litters and charge more than a mortgage payment for their puppies. Budget and common sense will prevent you from forking out the money. Instead, you will obsessively contact every breeder of your Step #1 breed you can find within a 6 hour radius, in hopes of finding a puppy that comes close to your budget. You will not. You will wonder who all the people are that are paying for dogs at these prices. Don't they know our economy is in the tank?
Step 5. You will then move your search to the local dog shelter. There you will discover that the majority of the dogs available are: Pitbulls, Rottweilers, Pitbull/Rotweiler mixes, Bulldogs, or Bulldog/Pitbull mixes. None of the dogs here are on your Step #1 list.
Step 6. One day, in a moment of weakness, you will visit the website of a local pet store. And then again... and then again.... Soon you will become comfortable with the idea of irresponsibly buying a dog from the pet store. Upon inquiry, you will learn that they also charge the equivalent of a mortgage payment for their dogs. Their dogs are supposed to be inferior. Apparently, they don't know that. That's okay, because puppy mill horror stories have been haunting your conscience anyway.
Step 7. One day, in a moment of desperation, you will search for puppies on a local ad website. You will find that the majority of dogs available are: Yorkies, Bulldogs, Chihuahuas, and Pitbulls. None of these dogs fit the list you created in Step #1.
Step 8. Your local news channel will play a segment on people who are burned after buying dogs from ad website sellers. This will scare you back to responsible puppy research.
Step 9. The process of finding an affordable Step #1 dog from a responsible breeder has become like an addiction for you. It is the ultimate puzzle to be solved. Your husband will become overwhelmed by the blackhole you have fallen into and declare he is willing to share a home with any breed of dog, in hopes that this will facilitate a decision and he will soon have his wife back.
Step 10. Your parents will not understand the trouble you are having (see second introductory paragraph), and wonder why friends with puppies aren't knocking down your door to get rid of them. You will curse Bob Barker and the spay/neuter campaign, resent that your friends aren't overburdened with puppies, and wish that your streets were filled with stray dogs to take in. You recognize the irony of being so selective about buying a dog, when you wouldn't care what breed a stray dog is... But you can't help yourself.
Step 11. After weeks of research with nothing to show for it, you will decide that maybe you have been too close-minded in your breed criteria and consider new breeds. Repeat steps 1-10. This will always lead you back to your original list.
Step 12. Finally, when you can't take it anymore and you think you're brain will literally fry, through divine intervention you will find your puppy (responsibly or irresponsibly- it's your choice)! You welcome your sanity back, your husband will welcome his wife back, and your children will be elated with their new furry friend.
Now, you just hope your puppy will live up to all your expectations after spending the best years of your life on researching and hunting for the "perfect" dog.
So far, she is.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Seed Bouquet
"If plants could be credited with reasoning powers, we would marvel at the imaginative ways they bribe or ensnare other creatures to carry out their wishes. And no more than when we consider the strategies devised for the dispersal of their seeds." -Jane Goodall
I was reminded of this sentence as my family took a walk one fresh, clear, spring evening. No child (or adult) can resist the whimsical lure of the dandelion to send a puff of seeds sailing into the air like little, miniature umbrellas. Especially, my sweet, little girl. Weeds are her bouquets of choice these days, and each little yellow flower she spots in the grass is a treasure to be picked.
I was reminded of this sentence as my family took a walk one fresh, clear, spring evening. No child (or adult) can resist the whimsical lure of the dandelion to send a puff of seeds sailing into the air like little, miniature umbrellas. Especially, my sweet, little girl. Weeds are her bouquets of choice these days, and each little yellow flower she spots in the grass is a treasure to be picked.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Air Fare
Included services for a single $700 plane ticket:
Isn't flying the best? It's the only service in America in which you pay hundreds to thousands of dollars to be treated like an inconvenience.
- Flight across the country
- A seat on the plane
- An additional charge if you actually want to bring stuff
- Mandatory pictures taken of you naked
- Frisking (if you're lucky)
- Body search and delousing- oops- wrong list
- Peanuts
- Random searches of your stuff (if you're lucky)
- Luggage being handled with the utmost care and respect
Isn't flying the best? It's the only service in America in which you pay hundreds to thousands of dollars to be treated like an inconvenience.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Madness
This was my daughter's 2013 NCAA Tourney bracket. It gave my bracket stiff competition- and yes, I actually filled one out. How'd your brackets do?
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Do As I Say, Not As I Do.
Last night, my son was reading to me out of "The Book of Mormon". He read a verse that contained the word 'idleness'. The footnote for the word led him to the Topical Guide. When we looked up 'Idleness' in the Topical Guide, the words 'procrastination', 'apathy', and 'laziness' were suggested synonyms. These are words that make me uncomfortable. Then my son started asking questions to obtain a better understanding of what qualifies as idle behavior. Questions like:
"Say you're one of those people who likes to sleep a lot. (Done) And say it's the weekend and you don't have any special occasions. Would sleeping in the morning be idle?"
or
"Say you're up all night working on a science project and you don't go to bed until 1:30. Would it be idle to sleep in really late?"
I will not lie. I had no idea how to answer these questions. I wondered why my son was condemning me. I honestly wanted to teach my son good values. On the other hand, I wanted to reserve the right to sleep in every now and then on weekends without answering to my son.
We had a good discussion about how important sleep is for our bodies, and times when it's good to sleep a lot- like when you're sick. But then he wanted examples of when sleep is idleness. I was not ready to betray my good friend Sleep. Nor did I want to take on the title of Hypocrite. I lamely responded with indirect answers. It didn't work, my son was on a quest for truth. Then, I realized it was way past his bedtime and informed him that he needed to go to bed and we could talk about it later. What a wonderful lesson in procrastination.... I'm concerned that my name might be included next to it in the Topical Guide.
"Say you're one of those people who likes to sleep a lot. (Done) And say it's the weekend and you don't have any special occasions. Would sleeping in the morning be idle?"
or
"Say you're up all night working on a science project and you don't go to bed until 1:30. Would it be idle to sleep in really late?"
I will not lie. I had no idea how to answer these questions. I wondered why my son was condemning me. I honestly wanted to teach my son good values. On the other hand, I wanted to reserve the right to sleep in every now and then on weekends without answering to my son.
We had a good discussion about how important sleep is for our bodies, and times when it's good to sleep a lot- like when you're sick. But then he wanted examples of when sleep is idleness. I was not ready to betray my good friend Sleep. Nor did I want to take on the title of Hypocrite. I lamely responded with indirect answers. It didn't work, my son was on a quest for truth. Then, I realized it was way past his bedtime and informed him that he needed to go to bed and we could talk about it later. What a wonderful lesson in procrastination.... I'm concerned that my name might be included next to it in the Topical Guide.
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