The Quasimodo Eye

In my 10th grade year of High School, I developed a mysterious and strange eye itch. It was a very specific itch that warned me my eye lid would quickly evolve into a puffy, swollen, embarrassment. Sometimes the upper lid, sometimes the lower lid, sometimes both- and if I was really lucky- both eyes. I affectionately referred to it as my "Quasimodo eye", because it was that horrendous. As luck would have it, the Quasimodo eye would most often rear its ugly head after lunch. I would then be forced to finish the rest of my school day looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact with boys I had crushes on between classes. It even almost ruined picture day, but held off till after my picture was taken to fully develop (A trained eye can pick out the infant stages in my picture).

Despite much investigation, my parents and I were never able to figure out what triggered the Quasimodo eye. We could not find a link to a single food, chemical, or cosmetic. We would follow a theory down a path, only for it to evaporate and leave us at a dead end. There was enough inconsistency in when it would develop, that we finally gave up and chalked it up to mystery. Maybe it was a pollen? In that case, there was nothing we could really do about it.

And then the Quasimodo eye gradually faded from my life. It made a few appearances in college and has since been MIA. It was truly a lesson in humility. Maybe it was divinely sent to protect me from the advances of dangerous males? I may never know. But as self conscious as I was of my Quasimodo eye in High School (aka: the World to my teenage mind), I can feel grateful that my Quasimodo eye has not forced itself to literally be seen by the whole world. 

Bob Costas, I feel your pain. 

Now I want you to spend a day anchoring with a mouth guard that keeps your teeth from moving after you've had your braces removed but your retainer has not been made yet... A scarring story for another day.