Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Dear Neighbor-

The other day I went on a walk alone. I crossed paths with you walking your dog. You and your husband are older than us, but do not have kids (not my business). But you have your dogs and take good care of them, and you don't dress them up so you've earned points in my book. You both seem like really interesting people. Luckily, our family has a dog because otherwise I'm not sure what else we would talk about. All of our conversations revolve around dogs. 

Recently, I decided enough is enough and that I need to take a proactive approach to expand our conversation topics. As we talked the other day, I made a conscious effort to think outside the doggie box. I thought it was going well until a lull came in our conversation. You filled the silence by asking how my dog was doing. Not my children, not my husband, not me- our dog. I was a bit stumped by that one. I responded, "Oh, fine. She's a funny little dog." I sensed it was an unsatisfactory answer, but I honestly couldn't think of anything else to say about my dog that could actually be interesting to a human. 

I've thought over the last few days how I could have handled that question better. I'm really more accustomed to fielding questions about the people in my house. We just have different life experiences and perspectives. Please help me understand what you want to know about my dog.

Do you want to know:

  • the latest weird thing she ate and yacked up in my house?
  • how many times a day she chases lizards?
  • the last time she had a dingleberry?
  • how many hours a day she sleeps?
  • how much food she eats in a day?
  • where she likes to lay in the sun?
  • how many hours a day she spends cleaning her bottom?
  • which toy is her favorite?
  • the last doggie bottom she sniffed?
  • the last human bottom she sniffed?

These are the only things I can think of to report about my dog. Please let me know if these are the kinds of things you want to know about or if there is anything I'm missing. It would help me out a ton.



  1. AnonymousJune 21, 2014

    Excuse me Gina. I was just passing buy looking for information on adopting Amish children. I do have a question for you. Does your dog piddle with excitement when the owners arrive home?

  2. What a ridiculous question "Anonymous". Everyone knows that small dogs piddle on the floor when the owners arrive home.

    Gina- Has your dog every alerted you to very specific danger like Lassie?

    1. AnonymousJune 21, 2014

      My name is in fact Anonymous. It's not a ridiculous question. Has your St. Bernard every gotten into your Furosemide bottle? Mine has, and when you arrive home and greet him you'd better have a rain coat and a couple of towels.

  3. Ruff Ruff Grrr Ruff Ruff Yip!?!

    Gina-Grrowl Yip Yip Ruff :)

  4. What's that Lassie? You communicated the best you could despite being a dog? Good Girl!

    Dogs are very effective communicators unlike that hack Flipper. Don't ever get a dolphin expecting it to help you. You spend most of your time on land anyway. For a dolphin who could eat any fish he wanted, he always got excited over stinky dead fish

  5. Grr Arf Afr Ruff Flipper! LOL